By Choice.

Last night, I came from work @ 12mn. My team leader went home early and one teammate and myself were left in the office when the system encountered problem. So both of us fixed the problem and did some data recovery. We finished around 11.30 pm. It was so tiring because I am not used to working this late already.

Around 10 pm, while we were doing some data recovery, my teammate told me that I can leave already. He said, I can left him and he will finish the job. I told him that I will help him finish it. He said, it was okay because I have a baby and my baby will be waiting for me. It was a tempting offer but I felt it would be unprofessional to accept his offer so I decline. I stayed until the job is done.

When I reached home, my Kylie was sleeping already. I felt guilty because every night when I go home from work and everytime she sees me, the smile on her face is priceless. I can see that she’s very happy to see me. Last night, I did not see that smile and I was not able to give her that happiness.

Then I came to realize that it is really very difficult to work and be a mother @ the same time (though this is common already). Especially that my kind of work is very demanding. I have to choose - to be a mother who is there for my baby or to be a hard core employee who works her ass off. If I ask for more work, there will be more demands and to be able to cope up with these work demands means that I will have less time to give for my baby’s needs. Priorities must now be set, because in reality, work-life balance is really difficult to come by.

I have realized that I like it this way. Less demanding job means more time for my family and that should be the equation for a working mom like me, not the other way around.