The truth is, it pains me to see Kylie being forced, crying, trying to break loose and suffer. It’s like she’s begging us to stop. I can’t bear it. I know it’s for her own good and I’m glad that Jay-ar was tough enough to know what must be done. Well, at first I hated him for just saying that we needed to force Kylie. For me, he seemed so uncompassionate and hardhearted and I didn’t agree at first but then if I try to be objective about it, I knew that he’s just doing what was necessary. I’m glad that he’s unlike me – weak. :(
Last January, when Kylie was admitted to the hospital for some urine infection, they put dextrose on her. Her nanny was telling me how pitiful my baby was – crying and screaming while the nurses inject the needle in her tiny veins. I was not there when that was done. I was in the office because it was only supposed to be a check-up (Jay-ar and the nanny took Kylie to the hospital) then the doctor decided to have her admitted for better observation. I was having mixed emotions back then. I was a bit glad that I was not there because I didn’t have to see my baby suffer but at the same time, I wish I was there coz I knew she needed her mummy in times like that for love, support and comfort.
I know it is normal for mothers not wanting to see their child being hurt but I also know that I should be tough for my baby. And that I should always be there for her especially in times of her hardships and to be strong for her and tell her that everything will be okay.
And from now on, I will be like that. It’s not easy but I will do it for her. After all, it is from her where I am getting my strength to face the world. I love her so much. ♥ ♥ ♥
Mummy & Kylie when little angel was hospitalized last January